Potty Training Pits

Boo! Can I just pay someone to potty train my kids? Okay, so this is only the first day, but we are 0-3 with an approximate total of 120 minutes spent on the toilet and absolutely no pee (or poo for that matter) going in. Five minutes off the potty, I hear "Wet Mommy, wet." Ahh! I read the promising "Potty Train in 3 Days" and right now, I'm having my doubts.

Anyway, these two kiddos are so much fun and a ton of work. Mayzie is 23 months and is super silly. She loves to sing and dance around, is obsessed with Elmo, and has a hair fetish. She has a favorite shirt, which consequently is the UGLIEST shirt in her wardrobe, but she asks to wear it every day. It is the lovely purple flower shirt below.
She loves to help me cook and especially loves treats. Whoops, she has a sweet tooth like her mom and which her father generously indulges. If he was in charge, she could eat cookies, fruit snacks, and Cheetos all day. We are trying to get used to the cold after being spoiled by Florida sun and heat for so long.
Nixon is my little boyfriend and I love that sweet little man. We had a rough beginning and he was very gassy and fussy, but he has mellowed out and is so smiley and sweet. He is six months old now and almost rolling over and sitting up.